Here you will find some of our most favorite baseball lines and jokes.
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we will certainly "consider" publishing them to this site.
Send us your baseball related jokes! Thanks!
10 REASONS TO MARRY A BALL
1. They have GREAT hands.
2. They are used to scoring no matter what base they are on.
3. They have tremendous endurance.
4. They always use a glove.
5. They don't stop until the job is done, and there is always extra innings.
6. They never strike out.
7. They like to touch every base carefully.
8. They don't mind diving face first into the grass.
9. They take the extra base if they can get it.
10.They slide into home really hard.
(submitted by: Cheryl Grote/San Antonio, TX)
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
(submitted by: Jerry Cowan/San Antonio, TX)
"I found that it's not good to talk about my problems. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don't care and the other 20 percent are glad I'm having trouble."
--- Hall of Fame manager Tommy Lasorda (L.A. Dodgers)
The Devil floats up to see St. Pete and says, "Hey, let's have a baseball
game... my people
(submitted by: Nancy Dietrich/San Antonio, TX)
What do you get when you mix Barry Bonds and Betty Crocker?
A better batter
(submitted by: Joseph & Jacob Luedecke/San Antonio, TX)
Three elderly ladies are excited about their first Mets baseball game. They smuggled a bottle of Jack Daniels into the game. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves drinking Jack Daniels mixed with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle of Jack Daniels is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
Using the clues given, what inning is the game in and what is the status of the game?
Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!
(submitted by: Brad Dietrich/San Antonio, TX)
Why did the little boy take a ladder to the baseball game?
Because he knew the sodas were "on the house".
(submitted by: Richard Hernandez)
Why did the umpire take toilet paper to the baseball game?
Because the bases were loaded.
Where does a catcher eat dinner?
Behind the plate.
Does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base or 2nd to 3rd base?
From 2nd to 3rd because there is a shortstop in between.
What does a cake and a baseball team have in common?
Both have to have a good batter.
Why did the Boy Scout troop leader invite the baseball player to go camping?
He needed someone to pitch the tent.
Why did the policeman run across the field?
Someone was stealing 2nd base.
Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were
two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
This story was related by a baseball announcer, who attributed it to Honus Wagner. Way back when Honus played, they didn't have stadium lights and when it got dark, you couldn't see what you were doing very well. One time, he was playing in the outfield and the ball was hit his way, but he just lost it in the darkness. Fortunately, a rabbit was running by at the time and he grabbed it and threw it to first for the out. This was the very first time anyone was ever thrown out by a hare.
DID YOU KNOW? You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way!
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
"I may be in deep, left field, but at least I am still in the ballpark!"
"Our similarities are different."
Major League player Dale Berra, on comparisons between him and his father, Yogi.